


Here Comes Xander Claws

by ConfusedGoatee_01



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 13:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12984927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedGoatee_01/pseuds/ConfusedGoatee_01
Summary: Cherry sings a song and Reggie groans all the way.





	Here Comes Xander Claws

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeadDireWolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadDireWolf/gifts).



> A gift for DeadDireWolf who created a little jingle to celebrate the holiday spirit!
> 
> Diclaimer: I do not own Zootopia, Disney, or any of its characters and credit for the change in lyrics goes to DeadDireWolf.
> 
> Enjoy!

The snow was lazily falling in Tundra Town as Cherry guided her red two seater through the small storm at night. Reggie was sitting in the seat next to her in what he labeled his "Xander Claws" attire. This was a black and white pinstriped suit with vertical lines and a black button down shirt. A wide brim fedora was pulled slightly over his closed eyes as his paws rested on a thin steel pipe that one of the girls had found for him. After a few minutes of only the sound of the engine, only broken up by the erratic pounding coming from the trunk, the vixen turned on the car's radio. 

While the rest of Zootopia only played Winter Solstice during the actual holiday season, Tundra Town had a radio frequency dedicated specifically to play the tunes year round. It was this station that that red Fox turned the dial too.

Reggie's ears were assaulted by the jingle and jangle of holiday cheer and songs that had been recorded in the 50's. The Weasel didn't say anything for the first ten minutes. Songs like "Jingle Bells," "White Solstice," and even "Happy Holidays," but once the radio started playing "Here Comes Santa Claus " Reggie had reached his breaking point. "Turn off the radio Cher. It's driving the fleas off of me," grumbled the Weasel. His eyes were still closed, but he heard the audible click of the radio being turned off. He sighed contentedly as the hum of the engine lulled the young mammal to sleep.

A sound caught the attention of Reggie. It sounded like humming of a very familiar tune. The Weasel cracked an eye open to look at his traveling companion. As he suspected, Cherry was humming the tune to "Here Comes Santa Claus." The mustela studied the vixen as she hummed, but every now and then a whisper of a word would come from her lips. "What are you doing?" muttered the mustela. "I'm making a song," replied Cherry, her eyes never leaving the road, "I just realized something and I wanna see if it works." Reggie shrugged and closed his eyes once more. 

A half hour had pased with intermittent humming from the Fox and occasional napping from the Weasel. "Hey ex," Cherry started, nudging the mustela, "wake up."

Reggie had been awake for the last several minutes and had simply been enjoying the ride. Still when nudged the young mammal pushed the brim of his hat up and glanced at the vixen. "We here?" The vixen shook her head, "Still got a ways to go, but I want you hear something." 

The twinkle in the Fox's eye and the coy smile on her muzzle spoke more to the possible trouble that the Weasel was in. He had no idea what she was about to say and the only way to find out was to spring the trap. The mustela waved for the vixen to continue. They pulled up to a stop sign and Cherry turned to the young mammal. 

She breathed deeply and began to sing.

> _Here Comes Xander Claws,_
> 
> _Here Comes Xander Claws,_
> 
> _Right Down Xander Claws' Lane,_
> 
> _He's got a club that's filled with pain for all bad John's today!_
> 
> _Rameo's teeth go chitter-shatter, Oh what a beautiful sound!_
> 
> _So let's give praise to the Lord above, cause Xander Claws came to town!_
> 
>  

The vixen finished the verse with a flourish of her paws. She smirked at the gaping Weasel. "Well, what'd you think?"

Reggie was stunned. His brain was doing its best to comprehend what just happened, but all that kept coming up was a blue screen. "Ha...wha....?" Was all the young mammal could stutter out before a furry digit quickly silenced him. "There's more!" Exclaimed the now excited vixen as she bounced in her seat and her tail flicked behind her. Reggie closed his eyes as she drew in breath once more. 

> _Here Comes Xander Claws,_
> 
> _Here Comes Xander Claws,_
> 
> _Stay outta Xander Claws way!_
> 
> _Saffron and Vixen and all the other girls are his today!_
> 
> _Peace in Tundra Town will come if he can follow the light,_
> 
> _He will keep them warm in storms cause Xander Claws comes tonight!_
> 
>  

To finish this verse, Cherry hooked her arm around Reggie's and leaned over the center console to pull him close. Caught off guard by the move, the Weasel let go of the pipe and the brim of his hat caught underneath the vixen's chin and slid over his eyes. "Damnitt Cherry," complained the young mammal, trying to pull out the surprisingly strong hold of the Fox, "did you do the entire song?" 

"Of course!" She responded merrily. Cherry knocked the hat off the mustela, who protested the act, before quickly freeing her arm and wrapping around the Weasel's shoulders. "Finale!" The vixen shouted. "Oh no!" cried the Weasel. Ingoring his pleas for mercy, Cherry began to sing the final verse.

> _Here Comes Xander Claws,_
> 
> _Here Comes Xander Claws,_
> 
> _Undercover is his forte!_
> 
> _Girls are Singing, Children bringing cases for him to help!_
> 
> _So let's give praise to the ZPD cause Xander Claws came to help!_
> 
>  

The vixen held the final note and lifted her free paw up and outstretched. Reggie hadn't stopped his attempts to flee, but outside of  _ **actually**_ hurting the Fox, his choices were limited. Finally Cherry ended the song, and a muffled clapping could be heard from behind them. The vixen released the mustela and situated herself back into her seat. "At least  _ **some mammal**_ liked it." 

"In a span of a half hour, you created a song about me. How is that not crazy?" Huffed the Weasel. He straightened up his suit and picked up his hat and pipe. "I thought it was good." Said a voice from behind the two mammals. "No one asked you?" Reggie growled to behind him. The sooner they were finished here, the faster he could get back to the apartment. The Weasel looked out the window and noticed the car wasn't moving. He turned back to the driver. 

Cheney's ears were low and her expression sullen. Her tail wrapped around her waist and the tip laid in her lap. The sapphire blue eyes of the vixen shimmered with building tears as she continued to look at the steering wheel. She glanced towards the Weasel and then away. 

The look plucked at Reggie's heart strings as he felt like a total ass for berating the vixen. He groaned and rubbed a paw over eyes, pulling down his face in the process. Eventually he gave in. "So...how does the song go?" Reggie asked tentatively, not able to look at Cherry as he asked. 

"I'm glad you asked!" Responded the Fox in a extremely chipper tone. 

The Weasel jerked his gaze back to Cherry to see a completely different vixen than just a moment ago. If the sly look was anything to go by, than the mustela had just been played. Reggie couldnt stop his mirth. "You tricked me?" 

"I did'" was the only response from the Fox, but the smug look and large grin spoke volumes more than her words. Reggie huffed once again, but couldn't stop his own smile. "Well alright, let's sing it again." 

The rest of the journey was spent singing the jingle off key, but full of laughter. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry to say DeadDireWolf that I don't know if this can be considered canon to the story. Mostly because of the mention of undercover work and such. Nonetheless this was fun to write!


End file.
